the company I love and the work I love to do and the people I love to work with to travel the world. YES, it’s exciting! And yet, I am mournful. This is the job I have always wanted. This is my dream job and my dream company and my dream team. I worked hard to get it, and also, it was a lot of luck. There are a million people who want my job. We receive applications from and are reached out to by people who are SO qualified, way more qualified than me. People with MBAs from Ivy League universities and with all sorts of experience, from management consulting and more. I was hired with no advanced degree, with no experience in sales, and no experience in renewable energy, but I had passion and drive.
After two years of the best work experience I could hope for, I am downright distraught that I am leaving. It’s not enough time! There’s still more to learn — exclaims my brain, while in sets the feeling of guilt of being ungrateful for the opportunity I’ve been given. I have found my dream job, but the pull to travel is too strong. (Another blogpost coming on that soon.)
I’ve realized that for me, leaving has strong associations with rejection or abandonment… and they don’t have to. You can leave a happy hour simply because you made a previous commitment to meet a friend for dinner, or leave a restaurant because your meal is over and you’d like to walk it off; neither means that you dislike the company you are with or aren’t having a good time. (Maybe this is partly why I am notoriously late and like to squeeze in as much time as I can into an event.) If you move out of your family’s house, it’s not because you don’t like them; or if you leave a city, it may still be a great city to live in. The same is true of a job or a relationship or any opportunity. Leaving doesn’t mean that where you were was bad. Maybe, leaving just means leaving.
Yes, I found my dream job, and, yes, it is time to leave.
(I hyperlinked two related posts above. And finally, this one, which has my favorite ever Dr. Seuss poem.)